Most women spend their relationships managing, fixing, nagging and hoping.
Magnetic women inspire devotion effortlessly.
If you are craving more from your romantic relationships… an electric current that makes your heart flutter when he looks at you, his unrestrained desire for you, the feeling that he chooses you, and only you, and an aliveness that makes everything feel possible… then this book is for you.
Maybe you're in the ache of a relationship that's grown cold. The distance between you feels insurmountable. You've tried therapy, read the books, anything you can to get him to show up… only to watch him grow more defensive, more distant, more closed. Every conversation about the relationship feels like walking through a minefield. The bedroom feels like a desert rather than an oasis. You’re waiting and hoping that he can hear your ache and step the fuck up as the man you know he could be.
You really don’t want to leave, but if something doesn’t change soon… you might have to.
Or maybe you're single, yearning for a masculine man who will actually show up and meet you in all the ways you know are possible.
Not just another nice guy who looks good on paper yet doesn’t give you that feeling of chemistry that you just can’t sacrifice. But also not another unavailable fuckboy either, one of the seemingly endless Peter Pan’s who try to convince you that polyamory is the highest form of relationship. You're tired of attracting boys when you crave a King.
Either way, you're done with living with less than what you know you can have, what you should have. You want a relationship pulsing with sexual chemistry, deep connection, and true commitment. You want to feel alive again.
Here's what most women don't realize: you have far more power than it might seem.
We've been taught that relationships require "both people doing the work equally" — a paradigm rooted in fairness that, while legitimate, can keep you trapped in two exhausting patterns that actually prevent the transformation you're seeking.
The First Trap
The first trap is fixating on getting him to change. You spend all your energy focused on him… waiting for him, hoping for him, trying to control the outcome through him. You bargain, criticize, plead… you send him articles, encourage him to get coaching or therapy, invite him to take courses or go to workshops with you… whatever it takes in the desperate attempt to get him to finally show up differently. But this pattern still keeps you powerless, always dependent on his willingness and availability to transform.
The Second Trap
The second trap looks like taking responsibility, but it's actually a different kind of desperation. You contort yourself trying to "figure out" the formula for femininity, as if you could think your way into the right performance, squeeze your mind into a tight little outfit called "feminine", and finally crack the code that makes it all work. This becomes an exhausting mental project of trying to be different in order to get something, rather than authentically embodying who you truly are.
Both approaches spring from the same root: the belief that love requires effort and manipulation, either of them or of yourself.
Neither approach works.
Because true polarity isn't performed or negotiated.
It's embodied. Naturally. From your authentic essence.
Understanding the Physics of Attraction with the Universal Law of Reciprocity
One person can ignite an entire relationship.
There's an invisible law governing all human connection, as fundamental as gravity itself: what you embody, you evoke in response.
This is the Universal Law of Reciprocity: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
When you embody a particular quality, you create an energetic pressure that calls forth its complement in others. This determines whether a relationship evolves into a beautiful, passionate love... or degenerates into resentful heartbreak.
When you embody a particular feminine quality, you naturally evoke its complementary response in a masculine being.
When you embody genuine feminine radiance, you create an energetic field that calls forth his natural masculine impulse to provide and protect. When you allow authentic desire to pulse through your being, his consciousness responds by focusing reciprocal intensity toward you. When you value your own worth and say "No" to everything unaligned, he cannot help but respect and value you more.
This isn't manipulation or control; your nervous system literally affects his nervous system. What you put out into the field comes back to you... magnified.
Men want to devote themselves to the feminine, they're designed to naturally respond to these energies.
When you align with this universal principle, everyone wins.
More love. More connection. More trust. More intimacy.
Who Goes First?
Now, if you're anything like most women I work with, something inside you probably rebelled against everything you just read.
It might have triggered every feminist bone in your body that is now screaming "Why should I have to change first?"
That is so valid.
You've likely already carried more than your share. You've probably bent yourself into impossible shapes trying to be the perfect partner. You've been disappointed by men in your life more times than you can count. You’ve been ghosted and betrayed. You’ve been hurt by men, and terrified by them. And even in all of that, you've still given and given, only to be left feeling empty and unseen.
It’s a lot to hold.
If the idea of doing even more fills you with rage, I understand.
Because it makes total sense that at this point in history, he should make the effort first!
And I agree.
In a perfect world, he would go first. He would hear the cries in your heart to feel more connected, and do whatever he can to meet you there.
But unfortunately right now I’m not talking to him.
I’m talking to you.
I’m talking to you.
And here's what I've learned after years of working with couples: waiting for him to go first is a strategy that keeps you powerless and forever frustrated.
When you make your happiness dependent on his willingness to change, you've handed over the keys to your love life. You're stuck waiting, hoping and fuming.
You should know by now that trying to force a man to do what you want is as futile as trying to wrestle a bull.
Men don’t change when the feminine confronts them head on.
As much as you might hate reading that, it’s true.
BUT
The Universal Law of Reciprocity offers you a different possibility: the power to create the change you want, based on how YOU feel.
This isn't about fairness. It's about effectiveness.
You're not doing this work because you have to — you're doing it because you can.
You have access to forces in your body that can transform everything, without needing his permission, his understanding, or even his direct participation.
That's not a burden. That's your superpower.
The feminine is the great multiplier, tapped into the quantum realms of transformation.
You innately have more transformative power than the masculine. It’s in your nature.
And here's the beautiful truth: when you recognise this power and stop trying to get him to change and instead start embodying what you want to receive, he naturally responds. Not because you're manipulating him, but because you're finally working with how attraction and connection actually operate.
You're not changing to please him or let him get his way.
You're returning to who you truly are… and that woman is irresistible.
The Three Pillars of a Thriving Relationship
Before we dive into the six feminine polarities, we need to understand the main outcome that embodying them will provide your relationship, or future relationship.
Romantic relationships require three essential elements in order to thrive: Trust, Intimacy, and Devotion.
Like a three-legged stool, remove any one and the whole structure becomes unstable. These aren't just nice additions to a relationship; they're the fundamental architecture that allows love to flourish and endure.
Each pillar serves a unique function, yet they're so interconnected that strengthening one naturally reinforces the others, while weakening one inevitably compromises the whole
Trust
Trust forms the foundation, the bedrock upon which everything else builds. Without trust, we remain defended, our hearts wrapped in protective armor, our bodies rigid with vigilance. Trust is what allows us to finally exhale and release the exhausting hyper-awareness that comes from never knowing if we're truly safe.
Intimacy
Intimacy is the living current that flows between two people. It's the felt experience of being truly seen and met, of having someone witness your raw depths, and choosing to move closer rather than away. This is both emotional, where souls touch through vulnerable sharing and deep understanding, and physical, where bodies communicate in languages beyond words.
Devotion
Devotion transforms a relationship from a temporary arrangement into something sacred. True devotion is the highest form of commitment, felt as the active choice to serve each other's highest good, to become guardians of each other's growth and happiness. Devotion is what creates the container strong enough to hold all of who you both are — shadows and light, wounds and gifts, human messiness and divine potential.
A relationship with all three pillars becomes a force of nature, capable of weathering any storm, transforming any challenge into deeper connection, and serving as a generator of love that blesses not just the couple but everyone they touch.
The reciprocal energy exchange between feminine and masculine polarity is what creates these three essential qualities of relationship.
The thing that makes these polarities so powerful though, is that they operate on two distinct levels of the human experience…
Light and Dark
the Heart and Sex of Polarity
You are a multi-faceted being.
Heart and Body. Love and Sex. Spirit and Matter.
And your relationships follow this same pattern.
Just like you have both tender feelings and erotic desires, each part of a relationship has what we call Light and Dark expressions. "Dark" doesn't mean bad here, it means the raw, primal and fierce parts that society teaches us to hide but that actually hold incredible power.
Light polarities come from your heart and create feelings of warmth, safety, emotional and spiritual connection, and love. This is what most people think of as "real love". Light polarities create the sweetness in a relationship, the tender moments, the emotional support, the sense of being cherished and understood and the sense of shared spiritual purpose and meaning. They're what make us feel loved in a way that is stable, safe, secure and aspirational.
Dark polarities come from your lower centers and create arousal, intensity, raw desire, and sexual chemistry. This is what makes you want to rip each other's clothes off, what creates that electric charge that differentiates a lover from a best friend. Dark polarities tap into your animal nature, and fuel a relationship with the fire of sexual passion and desire.
You need both to have a complete relationship.
A relationship with only Light aspects feels safe and sweet but has no spark, it becomes more like a really good friendship. You love each other, but there's no passion, no sexual charge, no aliveness.
A relationship with only Dark aspects burns hot with incredible sex but has no emotional foundation, it's all intensity, hot sex and drama that usually crashes and burns because there's no true emotional connection or safety holding it together.
The best relationships dance between both, giving you everything you want… the safety to open your heart completely AND the fire that keeps your bodies magnetically drawn to each other.
You're not just a spiritual being who only wants heart connection. You're also not just an animal driven by desire. You're beautifully both: part angel, part wild woman. Sacred and secretly untamed. Heart and body integrated into one amazing whole feminine being.
When you stop hiding parts of yourself and bring everything to love, you create a relationship that fulfills your deepest emotional needs AND your wildest desires.
The six essential feminine polarities are constructed out of this concept of light and dark. Three polarities that inspire his heart, and three that ignite his primal desire.
The Light Trinity
Heart-Based Trust, Intimacy, and Devotion
The first three feminine polarities create the emotional and spiritual foundation of thriving love. When embodied, they generate the trust that allows you both to feel safe enough to truly open, the intimacy where you feel seen and cherished at soul-level, and the devotion that transforms your relationship into something sacred.
Together, these heart-centered energies inspire the tender, protective, devoted side of masculine love — the king who wants to build a kingdom around your happiness.
RADIANCE (Trust)
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OPENNESS (Intimacy)
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NURTURING (Devotion)
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The Dark Trinity
Erotic Trust, Intimacy, and Devotion
The next three feminine polarities flow from your primal center, creating the erotic chemistry and magnetic attraction that keeps passion alive. When embodied, they generate the sexual trust that allows complete surrender, the raw intimacy of bodies merging in pleasure, and the devotion that creates unbreakable bonds through shared sexual ecstasy.
Together, these primal energies awaken his dominant, penetrating, claiming masculine force — the powerful man who wants to possess you completely and take you to realms of bliss you could never reach alone.
DISCERNMENT (Trust)
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DESIRE (Intimacy)
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SUBMISSION (Devotion)
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Embodying Polarity Through
Somatic Practice
Understanding these polarities intellectually is just the beginning. True transformation happens when they move from your mind into your body, when they become lived, felt experiences rather than pretty concepts to think about.
This is where most relationship advice fails. It gives you strategies and tactics, but polarity lives in your nervous system, in your breath, in the way you hold your body and move through space. You can't think your way into radiance or desire, you have to feel them pulsing through your cells.
Somatic embodiment is the bridge between knowing and being. Through conscious breathwork, body awareness, and energetic practices, you learn to activate these feminine essences as easily as you'd turn on a light switch.
When discernment becomes a felt sense in your body — a quietly confident knowing that lives in your bones — you stop accepting less than you deserve without having to think about it. When desire flows naturally through your being, he feels that magnetic pull without you having to say a word.
This isn't about pretending to be someone else. It's about accessing what's already alive inside you… the feminine essence that the world taught you to suppress, but that your body has never forgotten.
Feel it in Your Body
Ok, enough talking about it!
What I’d most love is for you to experience how simple, yet profoundly transformative, this somatic polarity work is.
In service of that I’ve created a bonus audio experience for you designed to guide you into an embodied experience of Discernment, the unshakeable knowing of your own worth that transforms everything.
I've chosen this particular polarity as an example because embodying just this one polarity can completely shift the trajectory of a woman's entire life.
The first track is a transmission on the polarity of Discernment, and the second is a guided somatic practice to experience it deep in your cells.
They are around 10 minutes each, so if you'd like to experience this work for yourself intend to create some dedicated time now or later, where you can drop in undisturbed and feel the essence of somatic polarity work yourself.
Discernment Transmission
Discernment Guided Practice
Processing What Just Moved Through You
Once you've completed this experience, take a moment.
What did you feel in your body during that transmission? What stirred? What awakened?
Something inside you might have just remembered itself. Maybe it was subtle - a deepening in your womb, a recognition of your own worth. Or maybe it was profound - a full-body knowing that you've been living smaller than your truth.
Whatever moved through you is valid. And if you're feeling activated by what you just experienced - if there's a part of you that's both excited and terrified by the possibility of embodying this level of feminine power - you're not alone.
This is deep work. It touches places that have been sleeping, sometimes for decades.
Here's what I know happens when you do this work: your nervous system begins to respond to the truth of who you really are. The woman you were before the world told you to dim your light, before you learned to make yourself smaller to keep others comfortable.
She's still in there. And she's waking up.
The Path Forward
Where to from here?
Over the past several years of guiding women through this embodiment, I've learned that reading about these polarities and living them are completely different experiences.
Right now, you might be feeling inspired by the possibilities, and simultaneously wondering if this could actually work for you. Maybe there's excitement mixed with skepticism. Perhaps you're thinking about your specific situation and questioning whether these principles could shift what feels stuck in you or in your man.
That's completely natural.
These polarities somewhat contradict the current narratives about relationships, independence, and what it means to be a strong woman in today's world.
Yet my work with women and couples over the past decade has shown unequivocally that when women embody these energies authentically, the men in their lives show up to meet them there… and it often happens quicker than you might expect.
When she shifts, he responds. As simple as that.
It may be tomorrow, it may be next week… but as long as you stay consistent in the embodiment, he WILL respond.
Similarly single women have found that as they embody these polarities, the quality of men that are drawn to them changes significantly. They start to attract men who want commitment, who want to show up in presence and provision, and who create such a deep trust that she is finally able to relax.
These polarities change you, your life, and your relationship from the inside out. But you can’t think or act your way into them. You can’t perform them. And you can’t wait for him to do it first.
The beautiful thing is that all of this already lives inside you, it’s in your cells just waiting to be activated.
Your essence is naturally feminine, even if the world tried to beat it out of you.
It’s time to take it back.
Awakened Polarity is where this embodiment happens.
A 6-month immersive training that transforms you from someone who knows about these energies to someone who is them, at every level. Where polarity becomes as natural as breathing, and the magnetic pull you've always sensed lived inside you becomes your lived reality.
Reach out privately to find out when the next cohort starts
The magnetic woman within is waiting.
*This button opens up to my Instagram page where you can send me a direct message to chat about the course
OR
Email me: damien@evolverelating.com
Whether you join us in the live Awakened Polarity journey, or simply carry these polarities into your daily life, the invitation is to keep remembering what was always true about you.
Your body already knows these energies - it just needs the space to feel them again.
Trust what moved through you in reading this guide.
The magnetic woman within isn't going anywhere.
She never left.
She never left.
And now that you've remembered her, she'll keep calling you home to yourself, one breath at a time.
Thank you for taking the time to walk with me into this work.
About the Authors
Damien and Katie are the founders of Evolve Relating, where they guide individuals and couples in creating conscious, embodied partnerships.
Damien brings years of experience in coaching and facilitation, alongside training in counselling and psychotherapy. He has a gift for weaving together attachment theory, nervous system science, masculine/feminine polarity, and developmental psychology into frameworks that make complex relational dynamics accessible and practical.
Katie, trained as an Art Therapist and in the Gene Keys, brings a spiritual and intuitive dimension to the work. With a background in energy work and soul embodiment, she has a gift for sensing the wisdom of the subtle realms and translating it into felt experience. She guides people back into their bodies - into their human presence and the innate intelligence that dwells withins.
Together, they live and breathe this work - testing frameworks in their own relationship, moving through challenges in real-time, and holding space for each other's growth. Katie brings the innovative insights; Damien translates them into clear, actionable frameworks in a complementary, co-creative collaboration.
They teach what they live: conscious relationship isn't about perfection, it's about coming back to each other, again and again, with more awareness, more compassion, and more choice.